I have never been to a rave. I do not party. I have never taken an illicit drug or even smoked a cigarette. I am definitely not the target audience.
This is what I thought to myself as the pixelated smiley face over a yellow moon stared blankly into my soul. It's 2am and I am eating Trix cereal.
An unrelenting electronic beat with a child-like melody plays. The smiley face stares at me, I stare back. "I don't do drugs" I say again to myself. My head starts bopping to the beat. "I'm not a raver." Bopping intensifies. Suddenly I realize I know this melody, it's the Alphabet song. I notice the song is titled "Hardcore Alphabet" and I smile. I look back at the smiley face, now we are both smiling together.
As I bopped I began to enter a trance, and suddenly was transported to my past. It's 2am in Times Square and I am on the Dance Dance Revolution pads, sweating profusely and running out of breath as I struggle to hold on until the end of the song. Rainbow color lights from the machine are blasting in my eyes as the bass intensifies, and just as I think I can't possibly go on, I surrender my body to the music. Now I am in overdrive mode, I can't explain how my legs are still moving or how I am still breathing, my feet move instinctively as the mass of densely packed arrows travel up the screen. As I glide across the pads, I feel so light that I may as well be flying. It's another great Saturday night.
Okay, so maybe I am a bit of a raver after all, in my own way.
The album starts off with a string of songs with bright major chords and cheerful melodies. Now the moon smiley face and I are friends, we're partying together and vibing. I don't even notice the passing of time as I continue to bop my head. As the track list goes on, the songs slowly transition away from the childlike innocence and positivity, but I am so entranced by the beat I hardly realize that it is happening. I blindly trust the smiley face, it will guide me on a journey of dance and fun, right?
As "Hard Moon Shock" begins, suddenly it hits me that I'm not where I thought I was anymore. The mood has become a little more somber, the chords evoke a sense of yearning and loneliness. I notice that it's the title song of the album. So this is what the album is about after all? My smiley face friend seems a little sad, and I lean in to give it a reassuring hug.
As I approach it, in an instant I feel a knife cut into my back. It's "Violence Rave". A truly sinister track, the type of which is normally reserved for the most twisted and frustratingly difficult boss fights. I thought the smiley face was my friend, was it actually the villain the whole time?! I can see it hurdling towards me, smiling with it's soulless eyes as it attempts to kill me. I grab my sword and flail it around in a confused shock, but it's futile. My HP bar is depleting and I've run out of healing items!!
Suddenly the tides begin to change, and I hear "Apocalypse 2026" echoing through time and space. I remember that unstoppable feeling in my feet at the arcade on the Dance Dance Revolution pads. Maybe I can win this fight after all? I kick the smiley face in the eyes and start dancing on top of its face, stomping to the beat. Now the craters on the moon face appear to be bruises as I fight for my life and for the fate of the world on the dance floor.
With a whimper the smiley face is destroyed and balance has been restored to the world. I celebrate my victory with one final round of Dance Dance Revolution, surrounded by my friends as we dance, party, and laugh until the arcade staff unplug the machine and tell us to go home.
I started this album expecting nothing, but I ended up not only going on a trip down memory lane, but left with the sensation of fighting and winning an epic battle of intergalactic proportions. If that's not one hell of an album listening experience, I don't know what is.